What could I change

What could I change to make you not have walked away, am I that hard? Or too much? Is that what why people never stay?

I just wish people would tell me what is wrong with me so I could adjust myself so people wouldn't walk so quickly away

I am defeated, I feel disappointed because I feel I have tried so hard to change my story, fix the broken and yet every time it's never enough

I never make it, I never get the friend or the stability, the enjoyment, I know life is up and down but right now I feel the universe is making it unequally rough

I have journaled, joined forums, listened to affirmations, but I can't seem to find any fulfilment, it's not a real problem solver as there's no connection

I just don't know how to fix broken when I don't know what went wrong, I have searched through books, gone down rabbit holes on google to find a direction

I truly have run dry with how to do this and am left with trying to accept how to do it alone, what sucks? I never got a chance or a choice, it's just what it is

I hope one day someone will see the measures I took to show I truly tried to make better and so my life or the outcome of it would look like this