What could I change

What could I change to make you not walk away? Am I that hard? Or too much? Is that why people never stay?

I just wish people would tell me what is wrong with me, so I could adjust myself so people wouldn't walk so quickly away.

I am defeated. I feel disappointed because I feel I have tried so hard to change my story, fix the broken and yet every time it's never enough. 

I never make it, I never get the friends or the stability, the enjoyment. I know life is up and down, but right now I feel the universe is making it unequally rough.

I have journaled, joined forums, listened to affirmations, but I can't seem to find any fulfillment. It's not a real problem-solver as there's no connection.

I just don't know how to fix broken things when I don't know what went wrong. I have searched through books, gone down rabbit holes on Google to find a direction.

I truly have run dry with how to do this and am left trying to accept how to do it alone. What sucks? I never got a chance or a choice, it's just what it is. 

I hope one day someone will see the measures I took to show I truly tried to make better and so my life or the outcome of it will look like this.