What Is Hope Weighted In?

Hope, what is it actually weighted in it because I find myself being repelled by phrases that only sound nonsensical like fairies running around and throwing dust

I am not a person who is ignorant to better or perhaps something so grand it may seem miraculous, I guess my humanity tells me some grounding has to also be a must

I am aware sometimes I withdraw from conversations as the realist in me wants to always have expectations that are reasonable and that will not lead astray

My conclusion is that I am not unhopeful rather I hold it's notion differently than maybe how others seem to share or express it, and choose to display

There are times when I think this hole is deep how will I get out? And I sink into it for a moment but somehow I find the drive within to search for a way out

So although I might not be looking for a ladder to appear from thin air, I am not stagnant, I am always trying and I consider this drive and pull to also be what hope can be about

I contemplate if hope is the inner fight within us whether for some it's practical, or for others it is prayers and positive thoughts, regardless, somehow our wiring is driven to want more

So if that is the case could hope be conflictingly perpetual and transient, depending on where you are at? Is our nature instinctively designed to not give up and maybe there hope is the source?