Imprisoned

I am stuck in a body that, despite me constantly yelling at it, begging it to move, I am met with resistance and the reminder I am no longer in control. 

It is truly its own torture, a confinement that is hard to explain. I am imprisoned in my own body, and it feels like even trying to explain it is pointless, because nobody really knows.

It's hard to grapple with the concept that this is my new life, but honestly, the jail cell in my body is nothing compared to being constantly stuck in my own mind.

That is a never-ending cycle of pain where I feel escape is impossible, and I am worried that my attempts at being heard are fruitless, and I'll forever be here confined.

It's dark. I feel the cage, the emptiness, the stark surroundings of absolutely nothing and wonder how one in this situation finds a key to escape and get hope.

I am really uncertain. I feel I have tried every possible way out to get myself free because I really don't want to be here anymore, but I am finding it hard to find anything left to hold

So here I am stuck in hell that I must conclude if leaving this world includes such a place it's irrelevant, as I am already living it in that realm of despair daily.

I guess all there is left to do is get comfortable, as the expectations of being uncaged have only left to disappointment. Who knows, one day I might be surprised maybe?