A complexity of emotions gravitates in my mind as it ponders love and how I am here learning for the first time what it truly is to love not just others but also me.
I sat for a while in the history of the love that I gave and felt regret as it was innate for me to freely give it away but to have it for myself and that I needed it. I just couldn't see
I am here now learning that there is a love within me that was not made just to pour out to others, but it is also a beautiful love that I can hold as my own.
There is some pain in places I've given love, but I also see the rewards of it and these incredible humans that are moving forward, and I can't regret the love I've shown.
I forgive myself for never knowing I deserved it too and can only hope that as I nurture that love intentionally within it, it will only increase the value of it when I choose to extend.
I've learned that though at times was overzealous, I can live with better wisdom and when I look at the wonders that I've been fortunate to be a part of, I gain insight and realise my heart is more than just to give to others to lend.
So here I am, not mad at the past, as I see my love has been invested into some amazing things and to see others flourish and feel that love, I know it's not wasted.
I have just learned that I can increase the quality of my love when I prioritise my self-love first and there, I find that the beauty of love is not in grandiose moments, but it is in quiet and gentle places.
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