Grieving Love Alive

Have you ever grieved a love of a person who is still alive and walking around but cannot give the love to you that you so have wished for and desired

I have wished this too often and have finally come to the state of grieving the acceptance it will never happen, hope for this has expired

It's taken me awhile as I held on for probably longer than I should, but when biology is intertwined is there a piece of us that just craves that bonded connection?

I feel the grief as I know I see in my dreams the love, the acceptance, the words that assure me I am heard, I matter and in that moment I'm being given the full attention

But that's just a dream and I have to try and not hold them anymore as they give me hopes that turn into disappointing actions that show me I need to stop trying

It is a painful experience grieving the love you thought you could get, that you see so many others hold, you begin to wander if there is something wrong with you and how can it be so denying

I get why people are so focused on self love because sometimes it is all we truly have for human beings are unpredictable and nothing is certain

I just hope that through the grief, the loss and the isolation, after it all I can find something that shows me all this pain and suffering was worth it