Have you ever grieved a love of a person who is still alive and walking around but cannot give the love to you that you so have wished for and desired
I have wished this too often and have finally come to the state of grieving the acceptance it will never happen, hope for this has expired
It's taken me awhile as I held on for probably longer than I should, but when biology is intertwined is there a piece of us that just craves that bonded connection
I feel so as I know I hear in my dreams the love, the acceptance, the words that assure me I am heard, I matter and in that moment I'm being given the full attention
But that's just a dream and I have to try and not hold them anymore as they give me hopes that turn into disappointing actions that show me I need to stop trying
It is just a painful experience grieving the love you thought you could get, that you see so many others hold, you begin to wander there is something wrong how can it be denying
I get why people are so focused on self love because sometimes it is all we truly have for human beings are unpredictable and nothing is certain
I just hope that through the grief, the loss and the isolation, after it all I can find something that shows me all this pain and suffering was worth it
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