I am sitting here knowing that this year has been the deepest level of defeat I have ever endured, and wander how I have remained to keep any hope alive
I have always been one to maintain to realistic expectations and avoid grand ambitions, knowing that it is not realistic in my fight to what feels like just to survive
I have had many moments of doubts of my worth and its physical existence as I struggle to find the main foundation of where its value is actually found
Regulation of emotions are hard when external factors are constantly pressing on my triggers, reminding me that my past seems to want to stick around
That in itself is a drive to find peace, some sense of relief and freedom that I can't seem to find despite my greatest efforts, and all the avenues I've tried
I then think this it, I have reached my limit and it's time to accept fate and say my goodbyes but then I rest my head, and there a plea for help inside me has cried
I wake up and I realise after every helpline contacted and support been denied that what if I get a cactus who is conditioned to live throughout all seasons
That sits by my side and reminds me that when every other option left me dry, my inner fight remained and with that I have to know that the fight for myself is my life's core reason
Add comment
Comments