I Surrender the Fight for This Year

I surrender the fight for this year and give myself permission to find rest. I am aware at this stage nothing else for the year can be achieved. 

So I lean into the fact that I don't have full resolve and conclusions to all my needs, but maybe in this downtime my heart can have the time to grieve.

For, despite my own efforts, I have lost significant things this year and people I love have walked away. It has felt it has come at a cost.

I am walking out of this year with different people and things in my hands, but I have to find gratitude that who I am in it was never lost.

Even in sorrow and suffering, I have found an opportunity to reflect and create a place in my mind where I have been able to extend it the kindness it deserves. 

So that even in this time when I feel depleted from a lengthy fight, I am able to listen to my body and hear its request to take this time to refuel its reserves.

Here I am, releasing this year and what felt like it broke me there for a little while, knowing that if I'm going to get back up again, I need to give my body rest and time.

I choose to acknowledge that not having closure doesn't mean that I am defeated, yet rather, for my own peace, I choose to believe that by moving forward, my healing will align.