I Surrender the Fight for This Year

I surrender the fight for this year and give myself permission to find rest, I am aware at this stage nothing else for the year can be achieved

So I lean into the fact that I don't have full resolve and conclusions to all my needs but maybe in this downtime my heart can have the time to grieve

For despite my own efforts I have lost significant things this year and, people I love have walked away, it has felt it has come at a cost

I am walking out of this year with different people and things in my hands but I have to find gratitude that who I am in it was never lost

Even in sorrow and suffering I have found opportunity to reflect and create a place for my mind where I have been able to extend it the kindness it deserves

So that even in this time where I feel depleted from a lengthy fight I am able to listen to my body and hear its request to take this time to refuel its reserves

Here I am, releasing this year and what felt like it broke me there for a little while, knowing that if I'm going to get back up again I need to give my body rest and time

I choose to acknowledge that not having closure doesn't mean that I am defeated, yet rather for my own peace I choose to believe that by moving forward, my healing will align