As the dark still lingers and the sun tries to rise over the mountains, it is confronted with the fog that reminds me that sorrow is still in my midst.
It was overwhelming, as I truly hoped by the time light tried to surface the fog would drift away and the darkness that had surrounded me for so long would finally lift.
Yet here I am in the approaching festivities that drive me to search out hope, even though the night is still dwelling, maybe it's time to recall how I can find joy in this season.
I am conflicted as my heart wrestles with the grief of cherished memories, and the significant absence of what has usually been jovial, and in this celebration a driving reason.
However, here we are, faced with the reality that it is vastly different this year and the challenge of finding hope in the midst of beckoning sorrow.
I am trying to be brave, share the joy I know that's inside this special time and in myself, for I know kindness is for today and never should be saved for tomorrow.
I am just at an unease as I try to hold space for the grief of the past while also holding hope for the present and gratitude for what is in front of me I can see.
It probably won't be perfect. I am sure I will waver in my emotions, but maybe in navigating the balance, i will find acceptance that these things can coexist and joy can still be achieved.
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