Eleven weeks since I lost my ability to speak, this has been incredibly frustrating, exhausting, and defeating.
Every night I lie awake compiling every possible conversation that may arise the next day in hopes that I'll be heard and responses not fleeting.
But sadly not, despite my intentional efforts, I'm often still misunderstood and most of the time I find that it's my note, they didn't even read.
Frustrations only heighten when I'm met with the questions that I know where in the initial note, and then the conversation is shifted, neglecting my actual need
I work so hard to not waste their time. It's antagonizing, the pressure as you watch the body cues and know they're not interested in waiting.
So, more times than not, I neglect my own need to be heard despite my own frustrations, as I see theirs too, then I end up left aching.
How do I get my point across? I can't type any faster, and by the end of the day my words are jumbled as my brain and arm feel the fatigue.
They say your voice could potentially come back, but with a feeling so unheard regardless of great efforts, it feels way out of my league.
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