Eleven weeks since I lost my ability to speak, this has been incredibly frustrating, exhausting, and defeating
Every night I lie awake compiling every possible conversation that may arise the next day in hopes that I'll be heard and responses not fleeting
But sadly no, despite my intentional efforts, I'm often still misunderstood and most the time I find that it's my note, they didn't even read
Frustrations only heighten when I'm met with the questions that I know where in the initial note, and then the conversation is shifted, neglecting my actual need
I work so hard to not waste their time, it's antagonising, the pressure as you watch the body cues and know they're not interested in waiting
So more times then not I neglect my own need to be heard despite my own frustrations, as I see theirs too, then I end up left aching
How do I get my point across? I can't type any faster, and by the end of the days my words are jumbled as my brain and arm feels the fatigue
They say your voice could potentially come back, but with feeling so unheard regardless of great efforts, it feels way out of my league
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